NIHILISM + NEOLOGISM + VAN GOGH SYNDROME + MIRROR GAZING = ?

"When you love someone, you'll do anything, you'll do all crazy things you can't explain": a piece of knowledge dispensed by Bryan Adams. Fucking fine. But what do you do if you hate yourself for loving someone? Forget that you exist? Nihilism. Or call yourself a misoselfist? Neologism. Or cut your heart out? Van Gogh Syndrome. Or maybe make yourself fall back in love with yourself and keep looking at yourself in the mirror? Mirror gazing. Fuck I am a goner. Gautam,me mate, here I come.
I am laughing my fucking ass off!
Time for my medication, Mr. Brown, whoever the fuck he is. I ain't even welcome in this madhouse. My choice. No lectures expected.

LOVE, LOYALTY, BLINDNESS

I guess I am in love again. Not again actually. But I think I was blind anough not to see the truth. Or maybe loyal enough to ignore it. Hell, maybe stupid enough not to accept it!! "Donot marry someone you love. Marry someone who loves you". Well there could be someone. Someone good. Whom I should have understood a long way back. My bad. Was I being too damn loyal to someone who deserved it in the least? I guess I did the right thing then though. At least no one will call me a cheat and i will not have any guilt trips. My anger trips are more than enough for me to handle! There is always a second chance, right? Second wind. Whatever. I want to be true to myselff. I will be. I am. Because "we are but the choices we make".
Any hey guys donot delve too deep into this trying to make out what made me scribble this. It is jus what the label says. Just words without reson, without a string, with no meaning. They are just rantings...