Tuesday, September 14, 2010

SPIRIT

Well, here I am, this is me. But, unlike Bryan bhai, there IS somewhere else on Earth I would rather be. Some place where I am absolutely alone. Sometimes it's better to be a coward and run away than stand and fight. Fight with disease that is. It's okay to fight if the person is really sick; and not giving stupid complaints like 'ghabrahat' (what the fuck ever that is), 'stopped talking from the last 10 minutes' (must have nothing substantial to say, eh?), 'headche following trauma about 3 years back' (pretty long lucid interval, one would say) etc. etc. They then ask for an 'Ex-array' or ultrasound. Everyone loves a free lunch.

And most of these patients are females in the range of 15 to 45 years of age. I feel like tearing the hair out. Their, not mine. I would have given them a treatment regime of my invention if I had my way. The OTS regime I call it, One Tight Slap. It's not just that they 'sit on my head', they also draw away the doctor from patients who really need care by their screaming, shouting, and rambling. Their lemon-sucking hysterics. How I hate that.

That's why I wish i was some other place. A secluded beach. The golden sand, clear blue skies, the green sea. A decanter of chilled iced tea by my side. The cry of the gulls. Bliss. Maybe a camera to click some pics? If wishes were horses. It's aight and I am stuck here, mate. Listening to stupid, attention-seeking idiots whinning their shit out.

Weeeell, changing ones mind is a female pregorative. But I would grab it now. I don't want to go anywhere else. I want to listen to their rambling and absurd complaints. Their requests for 'Ex-array' and other investigations. The numerous requests to be admitted as their 'cundishun' is serious. I would miss them. And, hell, whom would I shout at if I were sitting alone at a beach? Here I am, this is me, there's nowhere else on Earth I would rather be!

5 comments:

Priyanka Sarma Basistha said...

Hmmmmmm...Impressive one though! :)

Priyanka Sarma Basistha said...

Hmmmmmm...Impressive one though! :)

The Cynic said...

Ex-array!! cundishun!!

You crack me up! XD

The Cynic said...

I get them all the time here too. I now seriously feel like doing an analysis on how many patients in my OPD are hypochondriacs. I write a small note 'hypo!!' in the chief complain/diagnosis section in my register and you wont believe just how many of them get that label everyday.

The latest one was a gem. this big, dark, hunky guy comes upto me and says- "ga tu ekkebare furti nalage, olop furti laga dorob eta diyok na"
(I'd have loved to translate it, but it just doesn't sound the same in the Queens mother-sistered language)

blackgames said...

That would be 'body is no feeling enjoyment. Please give happy medicine! (me patient, you doctor)'
hell, u shud av given him methamphetamine bro! Glass makes one 'furtila', me read.