THE KUL FAMILY
The brothers were named Sofi, Dermi, and Bill. They were the last survivors of the Kul family, mishappen and grotesque though they were. Kul was not their family name earlier, but they changed it in reverence to their famous father, Kulbhushan. Yeah, of Bollywood fame.
Now it is interesting how Bill got his name. He was a great fan of Bill Clinton. Long before the Monica affair, if any perverts are wondering otherwise. Bill Kul even learned to play the saxophone while he was in his mother's womb. Surprising but true. He cried in tune of a saxophone the moment he was delivered. Swear! Sofi Kul and Dermi Kul knew nothing of music, the imbeciles. But Dermi gave his name to a famous brand of prickly heat powder. Sofi Kul had no ambition in this world other tin sleeping and day dreaming.
All of the Kul family, in fact all of them since time immemorial, has been educated at the same school: The Guru Kul Grammar School. Well, earlier it was called The Guru Cool Grammar School, if truth be told, since its founder-principal was a pretty cool guy. But after his sudden and sad demise, they decided to rename the school after the family of their most prolific students. Oh, and by the way, the moto of the Kul family is "Thanda Thanda Cool Kul".
J. R. R. Tolkien once came to India when the Kul empire was at its greatest. It is from their surname that Tolkien got the idea to name one clan of Orcs as the Kull. Not because our Kuls were warlike, rather because, as I said at the very outset, they were mishappen and grotesque. Eat that!